remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
