just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
