Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
