some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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