If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
