Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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