Im at strip club and am horny
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
