My underwear smells like fireworks.
he thought i was a dude.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
MIDGETS
????
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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