Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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