20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He better not be in your backpack
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
