Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
