Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
