maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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