so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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