I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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