Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
