Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
