You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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