so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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