Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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