So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Randomize
