You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Randomize
