Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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