If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
