I hope mine doesn't look like that
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Enjoy the penises
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize