Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
