Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
