Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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