guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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