so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
