Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
