Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
