belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
