I'm eating all of the evidence.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just invented taco cereal.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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