It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
