dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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