Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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