if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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