it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I need to calm my uterus...
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