To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
