im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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