im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
