just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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