Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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