Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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