he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
