then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
