I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
