i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Welp...herpes.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
