i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
i think im in europe. pls send help
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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