Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My cat gives me a boner
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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