the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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