she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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