I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Dick very happy bro
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
