Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
