If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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