We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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