i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
