i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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