now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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